20 Nov / Ten Tips to End Domestic Violence
Our goal is to help achieve the Agenda 2030 vision of gender equality: “to achieve a world in which all women and girls enjoy full gender equality and that all legal, social and economic barriers to their empowerment have been removed.”
Everyone can have an attitude against domestic violence, whether they are directly involved or not.
Domestic violence concerns everyone – whether rich or poor, educated or not, young or old, black or white, homo or heterosexual. It is estimated that during their lives more than one in three women and one man in 12 have ever been subjected to physical or sexual violence by their intimate partner.
It’s time to change this! If this problem concerns you, and if you wonder what you can do to help, here are ten tips to help you end domestic violence.
Learn to recognize the signs
Violence can arise early in a relationship or after months or years of living together. Here are some signs that should imperatively alert you:
> He / she is jealous of his / her friends or of the time that passes without him / her
> He tries to dissuade you from seeing his / her friends by constantly denigrating them.
> He tries to embarrass you and put you in embarrassing situations.
> He tries to control his activities; he / she calls you ten times a day to find out where you are and who you are with.
> He wants to have the right to control his expenses.
> He seeks to downgrade you and holds you accountable for your marital problems.
> He wants to keep you from working.
> He / she takes possession of your personal assets.
> He / she threatens to exert violence against you, your family member or your pet, to get what you want.
> He / she puts pressure on you to get sex or certain practices that you do not like, or have been forced to have (in this case, it is a violation).
> He was already violent (for example, a slap) and then apologized, swearing that “it would never happen again”.
> He has already threatened you with a weapon or a knife.
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Look no further.
The police always hear the same chant from the witnesses: “I had seen / heard / noticed situations of violence in their house, but this did not concern me / I did not dare interfere.”
Of course, this tells you respect and it is your duty to intervene! If you suspect a violent situation at your neighbours’ house, call the police: maybe you can save a life.
Learn to listen
If a person confides in you and tells you that he or she is being harmed by your partner, listen to it without judgment. Do not question her words and ask her what you can do to help her.
If one of your family or friends is ready to leave a violent spouse or if he / she fears an increase in violence, be available. Predict a meeting place in advance; make sure that your car is ready and with the deposit attested; have your phone permanently with the sound activated.
Inquire about the nearest reception facilities
One of your family or friends may urgently need to go to one of these places. Keep the contact details of the host facilities nearby (phone number or even the address).
Visit a family member or friend in distress
If you feel that a friend of yours is in danger due to the violence of his / her partner, do not leave him or her alone! Visit him / her as much as possible to find out your safety.
Some victims of violence do not have the possibility to inform themselves about the reception facilities, possible resources, preparations or means of escape (confiscation of the telephone / computer by the violent partner, control facts and gestures, etc.). Do this for him / her, keep the person informed and keep the confidentiality of the steps you take.
Write down what you see
If you are a friend or family member of a domestic violence victim, you may be witness to incidents of violence or intimidation, or the victim may confide in you after the fact. Make a note of everything: the date, the place, any injuries, the circumstances of the event. All this can be useful in the event of an investigation or prosecution.
Pass the message
It can also participate in information and prevention efforts carried out by victim assistance organizations and in the fight against domestic violence. Help, participate, use your networks to get these messages across your community (workplace, leisure clubs, community meetings, etc.).
Live according to your convictions
In your opinion, is violence against women, whatever they are, the shame of our societies? As a consumer, reject the culture of violence and the contempt of women perpetuated by certain media, television programs, films, music, video games, etc. And spread your rejection!
Domestic Violence is a public crime in Portugal
In Portugal domestic violence is a public crime Law no. 112/2009, of September 16 (and Law no. 129/2015). The Portuguese Penal Code provides for and punishes the crime of domestic violence.
Domestic Violence assumes the nature of a public crime, which means that the criminal procedure is not dependent on a complaint by the victim, with only a complaint or knowledge of the crime, so that the Public Prosecution Service promotes the process.
The criminal proceeding starts with the news of the crime, and can take place through the presentation of a complaint by the crime victim, or of the Report of the crime by any person or entity, in a Police Station of the PSP or GNR, or directly in the Public Ministry.